Don't Make These Mistakes In Your "About" Section: You May Scare The Client Away
In my latest Rapid Fire Squarespace Critique I take a look at Sean Huolihan’s website and give it my classic style critique. But instead of rehashing everything I said in the video, I want to jump right to the meat of this critique, the About Section.
- The discussion about the About Me section starts at 8:43 of the video above.
I am sure you have read a ton of about sections all across the internet. The about section is your chance to sell yourself to the clients you are going after. There are some mistakes that you make in this section that could scare away the client and leaving you wondering why.
This is what I love about doing these website critiques. I didn’t set out to give a tutorial on how to word your about section but this website led me down that path.
Let’s take a look at his about page. The first thing I see is a photo of a guy dressed very nicely with mixed drink in his hand. First things first this doesn’t scream “hey look at me, I’m a professional photographer”. More one what I would put there in a few sentences.
One thing I didn’t point out in the video is that Sean is the person speaking while he is writing. It’s not written in third person which I think comes across not very human. I like that he says “Hello I’m Sean”.
He then hits up with the fact that he served overseas which I think is a great confidence builder when someone is looking to higher you. It also comes with a built in group of people who you could reach out to for possible work.
But what happens next I think could cost Sean jobs. He says “who has decided to do the craziest of things and purse a career as a full time photographer”. Right here I start to wonder if this is the photographer I want to hire you. He is putting himself down instead of building himself up.
You had people at the first line that you are a war vet. Grab them with the next line, don’t scare them away. You could say something like. Now that I’m back on solid ground I am eager and ready to capture the truly one in a million memories for you. You don’t need to tell anyone that your not a pro or trying to be a pro, let your work speak for itself.
Next he talks about capturing images from generals to babies to everything in-between. I don’t dislike this but here is a way you could wrap it. If I can photographe the toughest of generals I am ready to capture xyz. Input three things you would like to focus on. When you leave it wide open that you can do everything, people wont know where to start.
I like seeing that you thank your wife, your military family and your dogs. This shows the human side. Now that you mention this I want to see a photo of you with your wife and dogs as well as one of your military family followed by one of you in uniform with your camera. If you placed that image on you about me page I think it would have a stronger impact.
The final paragraph ins’t bad but again it says “I am available to shoot any kind of assignment you can throw at me”. It’s great you can shoot anything but paint that picture for people. I specialize in xy and z but don’t be afraid to ask if I can shoot w.
We all have to be careful with the About section of our websites. We could be loosing jobs without knowing why and the words you choose could be the reason.
You can hear the rest of the website review in the video above.